Ever had that guy in your past that you thought was cool but you just never really looked at him in the eyes of being a possible boyfriend, well The Gentleman is that guy for me. I met him my sophomore year of college. Interestingly enough we lived only towns apart but never knew one another. The summer before Junior year we worked together ad became really good buddies. At the time I had my Accountant BF so anything beyond friendship was not happening. But we kept in touch, hung out and just remained friends while in college.
One day while with my ex out in City Island, I go in to a restaurant to pick up our food and guess who I see, yes the Gentleman and looking as fly as ever. He grew dreads, something new that total fit his football physique and had on the fitted. Man, did that do something to me. We exchanged numbers (yes with the current bf in the car..lol..I'm bad I know). After that, we made a few attempts to see one another but with my situation at the time, they all failed.
Old situation ended and I figured why not. He had his masters already, had a great job and fly body and very focused. He has traveled and has a peaceful composure, something that I truly need in my life in order to balance me. Made a date he came down, I backed out. I know, I know, what is wrong with me, how can I want change but not work towards it. I really didn't want to just end it like that, especially with him thinking of me as someone that won't honor he own words. So I said I would head to where he is, 2 states south and a two hour drive (my first trip alone, wooohhooooo). I decided to spend one night, instead of driving back.
So I get there and it's raining we wanted to go see a movie and have dinner but with the lines we decided to take it back to the good old college days of pizza and wings and watching "Imma Get You Sucka (still a classic movie and even funnier now that we are older)". The evening was great. He was really sweet.
This encounter is a bit different than how I would want most of my dates to go, bc I actually went to his house (granted I have known him for 5+ years) and was comfortable. The problem is I got too comfy. Well getting too comfy isn't the problem....
We ended up doing "that thang" which was well needed for me. I am a woman with needs and at that time I was in need of "that thang". This is where the problem took place. First and foremost warming up for that thang is important. Don't just think I'm always ready get me ready...He was way to aggresive and not in a good way. He didn't pay attention my body and seemed as if he was in a rush. Now I know I can teach him to slow down, but I can't do anything about the other problem. His "Winky" made me do a double blinky. Ok his winky is small. He has a lot of energy and really wants to keep going but something has to give. Since I am not in the business of offering cialis, I think he has to work on the warm up...lol. But I have to say that dissapointed me. For his look I was expecting so much more.
Ofcourse this is only one aspect of the date and the only negative part. Overall I find him very attractive and extrememly intelligent. He challenges me to think outside of my box without forcing me to take on his ideologies. And he still treats me really sweet and is just so calm. I stress that bc I think at times I can stress myself out to much and assume a lot. Having someone to make me realize that it's not that bad and just breathe is good.
My concern with this date is am I shallow for possibly not persuing another date because his winky is a bit small? Or should I focus on guiding him with what it is I like and feel comfortable with (for example encourage him to work on the foreplay)? Should I just stop with the sex all together? Hmmmmmmm
Ohh and another questions (promise this is it for this blog) should I be having sex with dates? The Gentleman was different bc I knew him, but many times men confuse sex with relationships, then again we all do at some point, even if the rules have already been stated. I think I will try my hardest to keep it out of the equation with everyone else.
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