:-)

In the past 3 years I've attempted to "find myself". What does that mean. Honestly, I can't be lost if I look at myself everyday in the mirror. But I was. I saw a reflection, but I didn't know the spiritual being that resided within this vessel. I spent the last few years learning that there is more to me, others and life than what I wanted to accept.

I fell in love with the earths most abundant and soothing element, water. I swam like a fish this summer..lol. I couldn't get enough. There was a real sense of freedom. Floating and staring at the sky, allowing the sun to penetrate my skin, so warm so soothing.

I learned to accept people for who they are. You can't save someone that doesn't want to be saved. That process of change has to start within. My world,is my world. Be conscious and cautious of who I share it with. No one's opinion should take precedence over what I feel. In the end I have to play this role. Their just spectators.

I fell in love with me. I loved myself but I was never in love with myself. My body is my temple. My eyes are the gateway to my soul. And my soul depends on my heart to survive. I no longer yearn for better. Because that will be a constant uphill battle. I won't have a chance to ever appreciate where I am. I instead strive to make the best of what I have. I ensure my decisions are all aligned with where I want to be. I love hard because it the best feeling on earth. I treasure TRUE friends because they can be the second best thing to family. I adore my immediate family because they are the roots to my tree. My parents are the reason I am who I am today. They gave me every tool I needed to succeed. Unconditional Love, Structure, Discipline, and Freedom to learn from my mistakes. Because of them I'm learning what it is to share and receive love. I'm growing with someone that I've admired for 10 years and had the past few months to get a chance to love again. This time is different, its new, it 100x better. His patience is uncanny and his love seems endless. I used to wonder how it would feel to be with you and now I can't imagine life without you. Your my best friend, my superman, my booh booh:-)

I guess you can say I'm enjoying my journey of blissfulness.

Allow me to reintroduce myself...

Well well, a year later. A bit closer to 28, a month away to be exact and I am still searching for my prince charming. Wait, back it up a few words, I am patiently waiting for a man to add additional love in my life. Yup I'm greedy. Ok who am I kidding I want companionship and a family before I start getting too old (closer to 30 that is). That's a good thing, no?

I had to take a break this past year to complete work on my post graduate degree but found some time in between to do a lil soul searching. Through the process I have gained a lot of confidence in myself and my abilities. I have also noticed something that is a bit disturbing, but plays a big role in why I even have this blog in the first place. I have a fear of commitment and disspointment. Now no one likes either but I have really set up my life around those fears and in the process created a wall around myself. It began with my dad (which I won't get into bc I'm tired of hearing stories like this) I refuse to be dissapointed, but that also creates an environment that will produce a hermit. I am not at the hermit stage, but I do see the impact it has on my decisions in life. Since this is a new discovery, I can't honestly say its been conquered. I will say its been acknowledged, thoroughly examine and I make a conscious effort for it to not affect my relationships (with male or female, friend or foe).

Now I'm at a picky place in the selection process of men. I have learned that honesty is the best policy no matter what. It may not make everyone happy but it sure takes that load off ur chest. Your words need to align with ur actions at all times. And lastly Girth is great but a stiff tongue will make up for any and all short coming, heyyyyyyyyyyy:-)